Bayville At Its Worst
by Nijino Aya
Summary: CHAPTER FOUR IS IN!!! Boy, aren't I an evil psyco! Rated PG-13 for language and innuendos. Three new mutants come to town and test the sanity of the Bayville mutants! This is not a Mary Sue, so don't worry.
1. Angel, Mecha, and Super Slut or Chaos fo...

Bayville at it's Worst  
  
Written by: Mecha and Angel  
  
Disclaimer: We are very, very sorry. We do not own the X-Men or the Brotherhood (as much as we'd like to), they are owned by Marvel Comics. However, we do own Mecha, Angel, and Super Slut, so please, ask before using either of them before writing them into any fanfics. If you are one of the writers for X-Men: Evolution, knock yourself out, but maybe give us a little credit. At least say that they were created by us and not by Marvel Comics. And if possible, let us do the voices for our own characters (minus Super Slut, we don't really care who does her voice). So please, don't sue us and lets get on with the fanfic.  
  
Chapter One: Angel, Mecha, and Super Slut or Chaos for the Brotherhood Boys  
  
Three girls never seen before are standing in front of the Xavier Institute for "Gifted Youngsters."  
"Why are we here again," the blond one asks. She is wearing an extremely short skirt, and a very skimpy tube top.  
"Yeah, Elyse we wanted to be evil!" Another said. She had wires attached to a weird looking thing-a-ma-bob on her head and metal armor.  
"You guys sure?" the one with angel wings asked. She had blue streaks in her dirty blond hair and was wearing a black tank top, black skirt, and black boots (but her wings were white).  
"Please" both the blond one and the wired one say.   
"Okay," the angel says.  
They walk back down the driveway to the road and walk next door to the brotherhood hideaway.  
"Do you think Professor X knows that the Brotherhood lives right next door to him?" the Angel asks.  
The wired one shrugs and they knock on the door. After a few minutes, Toad answers the door.  
"Can I help you?" he asks.  
"We're here to 'entertain' you!" the blond says smiling happily.  
The angel and the wired one nod, then stopped and the Angel whacked her on the head.  
"No! Nonononono! We're not here to 'entertain' anybody. At least not yet. We'd like to know if we could join the club! I'm Angel. To my right is Mecha, and the dumb blond on my left is Super Slut."  
Toad stares at them for a moment while they smile happily.  
"Whoa… hold on one second."  
Toad closes the door.  
"Hey Fred! Check this out! Three chicks that want to come and live with us!" Toad is heard yelling muffled behind the door.  
The door opens a crack, exposing the three of them still smiling happily with Toad and the Blob peeking out. They slam the door shut and start to giggle (yes giggle). The smiles go away (minus Super Slut). Angel knocks on the door.  
"Hello?… Hello?… you forgot to let us in," she says.  
Toad opens the door again. The smiles come back. The Blob is still giggling and Toad's trying not too.  
"Please, come in," Toad says leering at them (not Blob).  
They follow the oh-so-green-one and the oh-so-fat-one down a hallway. Angel starts to explain how they got there.  
"So anyway, we decided to come here because we wanted to be evil, and we are mutants, and we thought that you guys are so cool, especially you Toad…"  
Toad smiles.  
"Yes, I know that."  
  
**A few minutes later**  
  
"… But why does Lance have so many copies of the same fucking Nirvana CD. I mean, can't he give me one? Or at least a poster? Does he necessarily need every single one of those CDs? And another thing, why don't you people have any Cheerios? I peeked into your kitchen, and all you had was, like, a million boxes of Fruit Loops. Where are the Cheerios? Cheerios is the best cereal ever, dude…" Angel continues  
"If you stop talking, I'll buy you every box of Cheerios they have at the General store. And a Nirvana CD. Whatever floats you boat," Toad says.  
  
**Even more minutes later**  
  
"… so then I realized, 'Hey! I can fly!' and then I just decided to fly my way to the vet to pick up my dog, but then I got stuck in a tree. And my cape was caught in a branch, and my wings were all crumpled, it was so funny, you just had to be there, and…."  
Toad opens a door and shoves the three into a very dark dorm.  
"Good night, see you tomorrow," he says mumbling.  
Toad closes the door. The three girls stare at each other in the dark, and blink.  
"Whew!" Angel says, "That was a long hallway. I thought I'd run out of things to talk about."  
Mecha stares at the wall for a second.  
"Is that a peep hole?"  
"Really? Where?" Super Slut says.  
"No," say the voices of Todd and Fred next door.  
"Okay then," Super Slut says and proceeds to fall asleep on the floor right where she was standing.  
"Baka," Mecha mumbles.  
  
**The Next Morning**  
  
The three girls get up. There is now a piece of cardboard taped to the hole in the wall. A new one is slowly being drilled with a twisty straw.  
"Is that even possible?" Angel asks.  
"Anything's possible in Bayville," Mecha says.  
The three walk out of their new bedroom (while the hole is still being drill-ed) and walk down the VERY long hallway and into the kitchen. Angel is wearing a black tank top with light blue pants, Mecha is wearing Chinese pajamas, and Super Slut is wearing a see-through silk robe (we'll just stop there). Toad hands Angel a box of Cheerios.  
"Happy now?" he asks.  
Angel gives a squeal of delight.  
"Oh! Thank you!" she yells hugging Toad.  
Toad smiles.  
She starts happily eating her beloved Os (out of the box) while Mecha eats Fruit Loops and Super Slut starts going through the refrigerator and Mystique's hidden wine cabinet (don't blonds always have the best luck?).  
"I was wondering where that was," says Toad.  
Avalanche walks in looking completely groggy with his helmet on. He's wearing Onyx pajamas. (Anybody remember Onyx from Pokemon?) He picks up the box of Fruit Loops in front of Mecha, pours the milk inside the box, takes off his helmet, sticks it in the box, and tries to eat it with a spork.  
"I knew that helmet on his head was a cereal bowl," Mecha said.  
"'Morning Toad," Avalanche says.  
"Morning Lance," Toad says.  
"'Morning girls," Avalanche says.  
"Hi Lance!" All three chime in at the same time.  
Lance pauses from eating his "cereal," blinks, and stares at the three girls.  
"Wait," he says, "Where'd these girls come from? Isn't this a bit odd that three perfect strangers are sitting at our table?"  
"Oh, I met them last night," Toad said.  
"Whoa," Lance smiled, "Quite the pimp, aren't we Toad?"  
Super Slut nods while Mecha and Angel fall on the floor anime style.  
"Your cute," she says, groping Lance.  
Angel and Mecha pry her off.  
"Not now, Super Slut. It's too early in the morning," Angel says.  
"Later then?" Super Slut asks.  
"We'll see," Mecha answers.  
  
**Not much later**  
  
"I think it's in here," Super Slut says pressing a big red button.  
The door opens to Magneto's secret room. Mecha and Angel's eyes widen.  
"Whoa," Mecha says, "I just wanted to find the bathroom, but…"  
"Hey look!" Angel says pointing at Magneto's helmet.  
She tries it on.  
"I am the great and evil Magnet-toe!" she says slipping a magnet into her glove.  
Her hand gets stuck to her head.  
"Ow!" Angel yells, "This is a powerful Magnet. I can't get my hand off my head!" she cries.  
"My name is MAGNETO! Not Magnet-toe, and give me back my helmet. Now!" Yells a familiar white-haired figure walking up to them.  
"I can't!" Angel yells, "My hand is stuck!"  
Mecha tugs Angel's arm while Super Slut tugs on her head.  
"It's not coming off!" Super Slut yells, "I don't think I'm wearing any helmets."  
Magneto sighs, holds out her hand, and the helmet goes flying off Angel's head and back into its display case. Another wave of his hand, and the magnet is out of her glove.  
"Who are you and what are you doing in my room?" Magneto asks.  
"Well, Mr. Magnet-toe…" Mecha begins.  
"Magneto," he interrupts.  
"Yeah that too," Mecha continues, "Well Mr. Magnet-toe, we're… uh…"  
Toad conveniently comes walking by.  
"… Toad's girlfriend!" Super Slut yells glomping on him.  
"Me too," Angel says hugging Toad.  
"Me three," Mecha says hugging Toad as well.  
"Really?" Toad asks all muffled.  
"No, but you can dream, right?" Mecha whispers, "So just pretend we are."  
Magneto stares at them and blinks.  
"No, who are you really? Toad can't possibly have a girlfriend, let alone three at the same time. Plus, if he did, Mystique would've told me."  
"Shit," Angel says, "Alright, we were wonder, Mr. Magnet-toe sir, if we could, pretty please with sugar on top and ice cream in the middle, join the Brotherhood, pretty please?"  
"Peas and carrots inside muffins?" Mecha asks.  
"We'll trade in sexual favors," Super Slut adds.  
Mecha whaps her.  
"No we won't, but we'll do anything else," Mecha adds.  
"What are your powers?" Magneto asks.  
"Well Mr. Magnet-toe, I can do this," Angel says showing her wings off, "is that enough?"  
"You must be able to do something else," Magneto says.  
"We'll actually, I can turn into other people and have their powers. Watch I'll turn into Toad."  
In a puff of pink smoke she turns into a female Toad. They all stare at her.  
"Wait, let me try again," she says.  
In a puff of pink smoke, she does the same exact thing. She turns back into herself.  
"I can't really do cross-gender transformations yet," she said sheepishly, "But you had to admit, it was pretty good."  
"Okay," Magneto says, but what about the other two?  
Angel goes over to an important looking computer-thingy, and smashes it apart by transforming into a female Cyclops and shooting lasers at it out of her eyes.  
"No! Stop! What are you doing?" He yells.  
She changes back as Mecha prances over to the computer. She touches it and in a puff of pink smoke, it's fixed.  
"No need for insurance anymore," Mecha says.  
"Impressive," Magneto says, "But what about the other one?"  
"Um…" Mecha and Angel start together, "Well, like her name says, she's a Super Slut!" Mecha finishes bluntly.  
Angel sweatdropps anime style while Super Slut nods her head rapidly and Magneto's eyes widen.  
"Um…er…" he says, rather un-Magneto-like. "You can stay here. The more mutants the better, soon we will outnumber those students of Xavier's."  
  
And so chaos ensues…  
  
Please review! Tell us if you want chapter 2!  



	2. Chapter 2: Professor X’s tree is not rea...

Chapter 2: Professor X's tree is not ready for Halloween or The X-Geeks meet the new Brotherhood Members  
  
"I'm booorrrrreedddd…!" Super Slut whined in Pietro's ear. "Isn't there anything to do around here?!?!"  
"Well, we could go pick a with those X-Dorks, yo." Todd said. "But we do that everyday, man, and its getting' boring, yo."  
The teens of the Brotherhood were lounging around one afternoon, a few days after Angel, Mecha, and Super Slut joined. Pietro was sitting at one end of the couch, with Mecha using his lower body as a surrogate pillow. Super Slut was lying on the top of the back of the couch. Lance was lying on the floor with his head near Todd's feet, and was currently getting quite a headache. Freddy was, um, being Freddy: Sitting in a recliner eating cheese puffs. Angel was sitting between Mecha and Todd, and was playing with hid hair.  
Yes, a normal day at the Brotherhood of Mutants.  
"I have an idea!" Mecha exclaimed, jumping up from her odd sleeping place on Pietro, consequently hitting him in the jaw with her head.  
"Owww…"  
Angel knew exactly what she was thinking, and ran off with Mecha down the hall.  
"Good riddance…" Pietro, holding his jaw, mumbled, but all too soon. The two girls rushed out into the living room with arms full of toilet paper.  
"LETS T.P. THE XAVIER INSTITUTE!!!!" they cheered in unison!  
"Yo, man! That rules! Why didn't I think of that before!" Toad grinned.  
"Because you're stupid?" Lance mocked.  
"Shut up, Mr. I-Can't-Come-Up-With-Any-Original-Rock-Puns-In-Battle-So-I-Reuse-The-Same-Ones-Over-And-Over-Again Alvers!!!" Mecha retorted, throwing a toilet paper roll at him, hitting him square in the head.  
"Stop acting so immature and let's go!" Pietro said as he grabbed a roll and zoomed out of the house.  
The others followed him at a slower pace out of their hideout, across the lawn, and hopped the fence to the X-Men's residence. Well, actually, Blob just leaned against it to make it fall over since he can't really climb anything. Pietro had already covers a tree and was waiting for another roll.  
"What if we're caught?" Toad asked no one in particular.  
"We'll beat it," Lance smirked. "And they'll blame it on the Blob since he won't be fast enough to get outta here."  
"Hey!" the fat one whined.  
"Shut up and T.P. already!" Lance said, throwing a toilet paper roll at Freddy.  
The T.P. rolls went up, the T.P. went down, and soon the majority of the Xavier Institute was covered in fluttering white strips. "This is almost better than Cheerios!" Angel smiled.  
"Come on, Kurt, lets get into my ca-WHAT THE-?!" a voice from the house was heard.  
It was Scott and Kurt, and the last thing they expected to see was toilet paper streaming from the trees. Then Scott saw his car. There was a big, butt-shaped dent on the hood, a la The Blob, and it was covered in green slime.  
"Nooooooo!" Scott cried. He fell to the ground, crying like a baby, kicking and screaming.   
Kurt slowly backed away, "Vat a looser," he said.  
It was then that the Brotherhood noticed Scott sobbing and Kurt looking like he wanted to die.  
"Ahahaha!" Avalanche laughed, "What a baby! I can't believe that he is my X-Dork equal!"  
"Well, now what?" Mecha asks.  
Kurt looks over at them.  
"Vho the fuck are you t'ree?" he asks.  
Before either of them can answer, Super Slut glomps on to Kurt.  
"That takes care of that problem," Angel says smiling.  
By the time Kurt is able to pry Super Slut off of him, most of the Brotherhood had already made it next door.  
"Hey! Wait for me!" Super Slut yells.  
A puff of pink smoke is seen from next door, followed by a very loud "BAMF." What looks like the exact female counterpart of Nightcrawler grabs Super Slut's arm.  
"Ugh, honestly Sari, can't you do anything right fo' once in yo' vasted life?" she says in a German accent.  
Kurt stares in horror at the freaky blue fuzzy elf girl. Angel "BAMFs" herself and Super Slut back to the Brotherhood house.  
"Shit, that only took ten minutes to do, yo!" Toad said.  
"Are you kidding me?" Mecha said, "That took at least…"  
Mecha looks at her watch.  
"… oh, your right." She finished.  
"Now what should we do, Erin?" Angel asks Mecha.  
Mecha thinks for a second. Super Slut suddenly screams and jumps up.  
"Hey! Isn't tonight…"  
  
  
A/N: Yes, Kurt said 'fuck'. And, yes, you will have to wait until chapter 3 to find out what tonight is! BWAHAHAHA!!!!  



	3. Chapter 3- Ducan Matthews' Party, or How...

Ch. 3- Ducan Matthews' Party, or How many times has the punch been spiked?  
  
Evan: Don't look at me, man! I didn't do nothin'!  
Author: Moron…  
  
I didn't write a disclaimer because only an idiot, or someone who hasn't seen the show would need to know that I don't own the story. And then, neither one of them would even be in this section in the first place.  
  
Anyways…! On with the show!  
  
There are numbers next to each time the punch was spiked!  
  
***  
  
"WHAT!!!!" Todd screeched in his (loveable) high-pitched yell.  
"You aren't serious… are you?" Lance moaned.  
"Yes. I am." Super Slut announced, hands on hips. "We are going to… DUNCAN MATTHEWS' PARTY!!!!!"  
"Um…" Freddy put in, "Todd's a freshman… he can't go."  
A random 'Thank God' was heard in the background. Super Slut looked perplexed.  
"So… we're freshman also…" Angel said, motioning towards Mecha. "Its not that hard to get in…"  
"Yeahright," Pietro zipped (A/N: For lack of better word). "Whatmakesyouthink-"  
"SLOW DOWN!!" six voices in unison said.  
"That it'll work." Pietro finished.  
"Bribes!" Mecha exclaimed, presenting a case of Budweiser.  
"Bud.."  
"Todd…" Lance warned.  
"Weis…"  
"TODD…" Lance warned again.  
"…"   
"Good."   
"…ERRRRRR!!!!"  
"ERRRRGGGHHHHH!"  
"Oh, my, now that is odd…" Mecha commented on the scene.   
"Wasn't Mystique in that commercial too?" Angel asked.  
"Who cares!" Mecha said, "Lets go."  
***  
  
Minutes after they first tried to get through the door, Toad was completely beat up and lying on the ground next to Angel and Mecha who. The rest of the Brotherhood was inside.  
"Okay, so maybe trying to bribe them to get in was a  
bad idea," Angel said.  
"Yeah, no shit," said Mecha.  
Over her usual outfit (minus the helmet) she was wearing a large trench coat. "Okay Angel go to plan B."  
"Oh dear God, what's plan B," said Todd.  
Of course it was muffled so it came out as "Oh dee, Gaud waffs flmph Fee?"  
  
***  
  
"I don't get it Duncan," Paul said, "Why did you put out punch if you have beer out?"  
"You don't get the beauty of it Paul!" Duncan yelled, "People are obviously gonna ruin the beer by pouring some vinegar or some shit like that into the beer, but if I put punch out, people will spike it. Therefore it'll be better than beer!"  
"Oh!" Another one of Duncan's random friends said.  
In the background Kurt could be seen snickering and pouring a small bottle of clear liquid into the punch bowl. (1)  
"See what I mean," Duncan said, "It's already starting.  
"Hey check it out," Paul yelled pointing, "That Sari whore showed up!"  
  
***  
  
"Come on," Angel said pointing to some trees in the background. As they followed her she (for the second time today) turned into a female Nightcrawler and BAMFED them inside. Toad groans.  
"Why couldn't you have just done that in the first place?"  
Angel shrugs.  
"I didn't think of it until a few seconds ago."  
As they were about to go their separate ways, they were stopped by Duncan and his crowd of friends.  
"You three again!?!" he yelled, "Paul, beat Todd up again, and show the other two little girls to the door. Toad sighs and waits to be beat up again. Angel steps in between Paul and Todd.  
"Wait Duncan, what if we offered you something,"  
"We already have enough Budweiser," he said.  
"Bud…" Toad began before Mecha whacked him on the head.  
"But what if we could give you something better?" Angel said motioning to Mecha.  
Mecha opened her trench coat to reveal all the pockets filled with various different bottles of alcohol.  
Duncan's eyes widen.  
"Holy shit, dude!" he yelled, "You guys must have, like, a whole bar in there!"  
"And we'll split the prices of everything we sell with you." Mecha said.  
"So you'll split it 50/50…50…50….50?" he asked counting the number of people standing around him.  
"Gee, somebody has to catch up with their remedial math," Mecha mumbled.  
"Uh… something like that," Angel replied holding out her hand, "Have we got a deal?"  
"Alright Elyse," he said shaking her hand, "It's a deal."  
Meanwhile in the background Jean pours her beer into the punch (2), pours some into a cup, and walks over to Scott with it.  
"I got you the punch you asked me for," she said smiling evilly.  
  
***  
  
"But why do I have to go?" Wolverine asked Professor X.  
"Because Storm's out tonight," Professor X said.  
"But Chuck, why do you think they need me at that stupid party. And on a Saturday night! I could be out doing something right now!"  
"Logan, you've been doing nothing for the past few Saturday nights but getting drunk and starting fights with complete strangers. Be happy I don't ground you."  
"Ground me? How old do you think I am, Chuck, 15?"  
"I was kidding, Logan. Anyway, I have a feeling trouble might be starting at that party. At least go in the see if everything's okay."  
Wolverine walked out of the mansion grumbling about unfair treatment. As he walked out, Professor X turned to Cerebro.  
"About time he left," Cerebro said.  
"Yes," Professor X said getting out a deck of cards from his pocket, "So, what do you want to play tonight?"  
"How about Hearts," Cerebro said reaching out a robotic arm.  
"With only two people?" Professor X answered back raising an eyebrow.  
  
***  
  
Spyke had been dancing his best, which wasn't very good at all (hey, it can't be worse than the way Angel dances) which was why people were giving him funny glances. After they turned away he danced by the punch bowl and accidentally popped a Spike into it (3?).  
  
***  
  
  
"I don't know Elyse," Mecha said to her partner in crime, "It smells like it's already been spiked quite a few times."  
"Well, we're not just gonna spike it Erin," Angel said pointing to the punch bowl, "By the time we're done with it, it won't be punch anymore. No, It'll be Mark Twain Cocktail Punch!" (NOTE: If anyone wants the recipe for this, ask for it in the review and Angel will write it in the beginning of the next chapter. Just as a warning to you though, neither Angel, Mecha nor Super Slut have ever made it before so we have no idea how it'll taste).  
And with that, Angel poured a whole quart of brandy into the punch bowl along with other various ingredients (4,5,6).  
  
***  
  
Since this is Warner Brothers, we need not to come up with any explanation on how Logan got into Duncan Matthews's party. As he was walking around trying to ignore people and glare at anyone who stared at him, he passed by the punch bowl. Smelling it he smiled.  
"Hmmm, they've spiked the punch," he said.  
And with that, he scooped some into a cup and downed it in one gulp.  
"Mmm. Mark Twain Cocktail Punch. Needs more brandy." Logan poured a bit more brandy (which he had conveniently picked up at the nearest liquor store on the way to Duncan Matthew's house) into the punch bowl (7). After that he began to drink more and more cups of Mark Twain Cocktail Punch.  
  
***  
  
Angel and Mecha were having a blast at the party. So far they had made nearly $75 selling various sorts of liquor to the stupid kids at Duncan Matthew's party. Todd was helping them out of lack of anything to do. Fred was most raiding Duncan's kitchen. Pietro and Lance, after getting very drunk, had gone upstairs with Super Slut and a couple of other various friends of Duncan's. Wolverine was lying unconscious on the floor, Jean and Scott had disappeared upstairs, and the rest of the X-Men were playing on Duncan's PS2.  
Police Sirens could be heard outside, so Angel, Mecha, and Toad decided it was time to BAMF out of there. They were later followed by Super Slut carrying a very unconscious (but happy) Pietro and Lance (or what was left of them). Fred some how made it out of there and they all walked back to the Brotherhood house. They would have driven Lance's car back, but Pietro and  
Lance were neither sober nor conscious enough to do it, neither Angel, Mecha, nor Toad knew how to drive, and they just plain didn't trust Fred. Besides, if it wasn't destroyed by tomorrow, it'd still be there for them. After they got back home, Angel and Mecha turned to Super Slut.  
"So how much did you make?" Mecha asked her.  
"$150," she answered back showing them the money, and you?"  
"$110." They both answered back.  
"Cool." Super Slut said.  
"Well, I better go to bed," Angel said, "I got work tomorrow."  
  
Next chapter: Sucking on the Brotherhood, or Why Are the Green Ones Longer Than the Purple Ones Anyway?   
  
  
  



	4. Boy, I AM Evil!

Dear Reader,  
  
Oh, gosh! There is no chapter four! Come on people! Write reveiws for chapter three. I'm now under the impression that no one liked chapter 3, and if no one liked it, than I suppose I won't continue it. So write reviews dammit! There is nothing worse than an author with a 'tude.  
Now, go click the little previous chapter button, and scroll down to the little boxie-thing, and review! Or face the wrath of my Pietro-Maid plushie!   
Mwahahaha!  
Oh, and comming soon:  
I have done fan art from The Disturbing Night Club, and have drawn the inevitable Pietro-Maid. Look for it soon on my author's profie picture space.  
  
  
Love,  
Mecha 


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